when parents get divorced, they're
given some kind of a handout.
when my parents told me that they were
splitting, they told me three things.
One, "It's not your fault. "
Two, "It's not your fault. "
And three,
"It's not your fault. "
Problem is,
I don't buy it.
No kid does.
I've seen the pictures
of when you got married.
when you were good-looking,
and you smiled at each other.
Hell, when you even
just looked at each other.
So what happened
between then and now?
Me.
I... I came along,
and I made you tired
and cranky and anxious
and I made you lose your hair
and gain 20 extra pounds and...
Somewhere in all of that, I...
You stopped loving each other.
So I have my own idea
for a handout.
Next time tell me,
"One, happiness is hard.
"Two, don't make the
same mistakes we did.
"And three, okay, so maybe
it is your fault a little. "
You want me
to be honest?
You go first.
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